Unsubscribe from the Gender War
What if we stopped fighting each other—and started fighting for each other?
Let’s be clear that gender inequality exists—it’s real and needs to be addressed. That work is not going away. And there are people of all genders who want that progress, and those who do not.
But the idea that we are in a “gender war”, men against women and vice versa, on opposite sides of the battle, is not only unhelpful, in a lot of cases it’s also simply not true.
We don’t live in a world of opposing teams. We live in interdependence. We share this planet, our families, communities, and workplaces. And that means what is good for some of us is actually good for all of us.
The social construct of the gender binary - us and them - only two genders - keeps all genders in a box. They're just different boxes. We all have a lot of unlearning and
relearning to do.
Gender equality issues have been framed as “women’s issues” but that ignores the many benefits and impacts to people of all genders of this progress. Access to
affordable childcare? Any parent benefits directly. Reproductive rights and
healthcare? All genders benefit directly from being able to choose when and how to have children and from having a healthy partner throughout that process. Equal pay? Any household with women in it obviously benefits from that income being equal, but a household with men in it also benefits. These are men’s issues too. They are everyone’s issues.
On the flip side, “men’s issues” impact women. The higher rates of mental health challenges and suicide rates? Any person with men in their life - partners, sons, brothers, fathers, friends, are impacted by this. Male violence? Obviously, this
impacts women. These are our issues too.
The reality is, we share this world, and therefore we share these issues. We already care about each other, and many of us live with people of different genders. Our
daily lives are proof of our interdependence and love for each other. And together we can accelerate progress to solve these issues and make things better for us all. Being “at war” doesn’t serve us in the end, despite what the media or social media may say.
Does this mean we take our foot off the gas in the progress towards equality and
inclusion? No. Just the opposite. These are problems that need to be solved. But it’s a rethinking of what that looks like and what the work is for us all.
If inclusion is the goal, then separation and polarization are never the way to get there. Our interdependence is the thing that binds us.
It’s exciting to rethink what it looks like to work together—and co-create something better.
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